Ye Wizard's Guide to Cat Scratch Fever: A Fantasy Harem Story

please read all the way through if you need to be warned about adult content Pirate queens, yuggoth cultists, sea dragons and magical mutiny are just for starters. The real problems start after they land on the lost island so profoundly cursed that no one has ever escaped. Jak is a long, long way from the apprentice nobody he used to be. The ancient curse known as the Crawling Chaos has him halfway around the world and on his way to an island that is so evil the ocean will swallow you before you have the bad luck to get there. But his old masters always said bad luck means you aren’t cheating hard enough. Fresh from stealing an entire cargo of silver ingots meant for the Dolorn exchequer, the Gwendolyn’s Darling is in port, preparing for the run south into ancient evil. Among a crew of questionable cutthroats and a two-hundred-year-old sorcerer in a child’s body, Jak’s only advantage is his talent at magic and the demon that has possessed his hand with a mind of its own. If Jak thought shore leave would be relaxing he shouldn’t be trying to juggle four lusty women at the same time. The redheaded highland lass who is so superstitious she won’t get out of his bed on the left side even if the right were on fire. The former sacred virgin of Storm Bull who wants him to praise god and pass the ammunition. The captain’s shinobi bride who would like Jak to forcibly change her marital status to ‘widow’. The half-mechanical exiled queen who is convinced Jak will soon be her husband and help her win back her crown. But women-troubles aside, Jak has to unravel the real what does his deranged child-master of a captain expect to find on the lost island of Xalae Hyldryr, and will any of them survive long enough to get there? Put on your +1 prophylactic of protection, toss a bone to your wizard, and check your dump stat because this medieval world is leveling up. CONTENT this story contains adult themes and imagines a world where today’s cultural norms and civilization wouldn’t cut it. The protagonist happily uses chemical warfare against lycanthropes, exploding runes, foul language, and has no problem fulfilling prophecies that involve fathering children with native island princesses. This story contains a harem and is an Adult Fantasy novel.